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Living in Thailand – How to Know You’ve Been in the Land of Smiles For Too Long

By: Tom Bak

Thailand is an amazing place to live. The friendly people, delicious food and beautiful scenery are just a few reasons to live here. I think everybody should try living here at least once. However, the culture is very different from what most westerners are familiar with. Below is a list to help you determine if some of the more curious Thai cultural oddities have rubbed off on you.

You see an elephant in the street and don’t think “Oh wow! An elephant!” but instead complain about how it’s slowing down traffic.

You wake up in the morning with a hankering for rice and noodles, not eggs and toast.

You think that riding your motorcycle the wrong way down one-way streets, running red lights and riding on the wrong side of the road are perfectly normal.

You think that Singha and Chang are actually pretty decent beers.

You see a family of four and their dog riding together on a single motorcycle and you only wonder what they ate for dinner.

You wear sweaters and sweatshirts despite the steaming hot weather.

You are deeply concerned when your favorite rice dish goes up in price by $0.15 to a staggering $0.60.

The language actually starts to make a little sense.

You think that tigers are cute cuddly animals that just want a big hug from you.

You pour your beer into a glass with ice cubes before drinking it.

You have no problems eating raw pig organs mixed with pig blood and spices.

You’ve become pretty good at determining whether a woman is, in fact, a woman.

Monkeys are more cause for concern than joy.

You wonder if there really are ghosts.

You prefer using the spray over regular toilet paper.

10 year olds riding motorcycles in the streets do not faze you.

You think that lying around all day at the edge of a body of water doing nothing but eating and drinking and chatting all day is very productive.

You think Sangsom and Mekong are actually pretty decent whiskeys.

You haven’t cooked a meal in months, besides what can be made with a hot water maker.

You find that some of the Thai music is actually pretty decent.

You believe that roosters and squirrels could actually make good pets.

The touts and tuktuk drivers that used to harass you every day have given up.

You think that going to a nightclub involves standing around a small table with friends, but no actual dancing.

You visit the temples to relax or meditate rather than to take photos.

Cockroaches and rats in the streets don’t bother you anymore.

Shaking somebody’s hand feels weird.

The rules of Muay Thai boxing almost start to make a little sense.

You start to think that maybe it’s the westerners that have an odd culture.

You can ride a motorcycle with 10 grocery bags, a bookshelf and a hot pizza box strapped to it.

You ask for every meal extra spicy.

You put spicy fish sauce on everything.

Tom Bak is a professional software developer with over ten years of programming experience on diverse projects, including seven years of videogame experience with numerous published console game titles. He is currently working on an online word game and a free word puzzle.

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